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December 31, 2007
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(Contains: sexual themes and ideologically sensitive material)


Chapter 10- Trial and errors

“I’m an unstoppable death machine, you know?” –Zim (Battle of the planets)


Another explosion shook the ship. Zim lifted his head from Dib’s hair and met Taty’s satisfied smile.

‘You know what is going on,’ he said as a statement, not a question.
‘It’s Bass,’ she admitted with no small amount of pride. ‘I’d recognize his attacking sequences anywhere. I think he came here along with the robot.’
‘Your crew seems happy to disobey direct orders,’ commented the Invader with a sarcastic smile.
‘As long as it gets us out of here alive, I won’t complain,’ grumbled the Captain.

She lifted her antennas at seeing Dib held against Zim.

‘I see you got your Kribliss back,’ she said.
‘Yes,’ was the only answer she got, along with a challenging glare.
‘That means my crew and I owe you nothing anymore,’ she concluded.
‘You’re free to go,’ he snorted. ‘But try not to get shot in the head while you escape.’
‘I’m not in a hurry,’ she smirked. ‘I’ll protect you until we’re all back to safety.’
‘The Almighty Zim needs no protection!’ he spat.
‘You, maybe not, but your human boy needs all the help he can get,’ she said, pointing to Dib’s slumped body. ‘He seems to attract trouble.’
‘Do not remind me,’ grumbled the Invader.  

She watched them for a moment, her antenna held against the door, waiting for something.

‘Wake him up,’ she whispered. ‘We’ll have to run.’
‘Dib-human,’ said the Invader with a gentle shake. ‘Wakey-wakey.’
‘…Hm?’ said the teenager, slowly lifting his head. ‘..Zim? Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep…’
‘I’ll let you snore on my couch another twenty hours as soon as we get out of here,’ promised the Invader with a smirk. ‘Now, stay awake and prepare to escape.’

Dib nodded and stood straight, trying to fight down the drowsiness. Taty pressed a claw to his holographic collar, and Kinn’s green skin and orange eyes replaced his face. Zim made a grimace, unused to the disguise.

‘Ready?’ asked Taty in a whisper. ‘I’ll open the door.’

Dib nodded and Zim smiled like a maniac.

‘Bring it on,’ he said trough his teeth.

Taty opened the door and whacked with her spider legs the two soldiers running towards them. They fell to the floor and didn’t feel her grabbing both their weapons. She threw one at Zim.

‘I wanted something bigger,’ he complained.
‘You’ll have to get it yourself. Follow me,’ she ordered.

She started walking fast, followed by Zim and Dib, who was having trouble catching up. The alien wasn’t holding his chain, but his arm, and kept pulling forward with insistence. They saw Taty stun more soldiers on her way. They turned another corner, then another, and soon Dib was completely lost. He closed his eyes, fighting the pain and the migraine, concentrating on running and breathing.

Suddenly, Zim’s grip on his arm disappeared. Dib felt himself being pushed into the nearest wall. Zim was standing in the middle of the corridor, holding his bleeding side with one hand and shooting from the other.

‘NOT MY SQUEEDLY-SPOOCH, YOU DON’T! he yelled to the Irken soldiers shooting at him.

He managed to take out most of them without getting shot once. Taty was fighting alongside him, firing rapidly and with deadly accuracy. She turned around to place her back against Zim’s, and shrieked with terror. Zim heard her body falling to the floor and sharply turned around. He gasped.

Both Tallest were behind him, their furious eyes throwing daggers. Red was pointing a stunner gun to Taty’s head, and Purple was aiming to what he thought to be the small female scientist huddled on the floor.

‘This is getting old,’ spat Red. ‘We’re getting rid of all of you right now, Zim.’
‘You’ll stop being a nuisance to the Empire,’ growled Purple.

Zim screamed bloody murder and jumped at them, foaming at the mouth. He seemed to forget that his pak offensive functions weren’t responding. His spider legs refused to come out, but Red’s impaled him in mid jump.

Zim coughed pink blood and shot him an enraged look.

‘I’ll make sure your deactivation is slow and painful,’ growled Red.

* * *

Alone in the Squeaky, Kinn was besides herself with worry. She had totally ruined their escape plan by letting the Dib-bot fall to the arena and had no way of contacting her Captain or any other member of the crew. She had no idea where Bass, Blo and Miik had disappeared and could find nothing more productive to do besides pressing random buttons and pulling her antennas in frustration.

‘I can’t believe this!’ she whined. ‘There has to be a way of knowing what is happening over there!’

Suddenly, the computer beeped, announcing an incoming broadcast from the Irken universal television network. She accepted it and saw the Massive’s bridge displayed on the main screen. The Massive’s crew was cheering the Tallest.

‘People of Irk!’ said Red over the crowd’s noise. ‘I know your entertainment was cut short earlier, but rejoice! We’ll get our execution!’
‘And you get a bonus deal, today!’ said Purple. ‘Instead of one traitor, we’re terminating four of them!’

The camera showed four prisoners: Taty, Bass, Zim and Kinn, who was in fact Dib in his hologram. The real scientist pulled her antennas with a pathetic whimper.

‘This does not look good!’ she whined. ‘They’re over there and I can’t do anything! If the Captain dies, I’m supposed to take her place! I don’t want to! I hate responsibilities!’

While Kinn was busy panicking and being generally useless, the prisoners on the Massive were exchanging gloomy glances. With Bass discovered, they had no more tricks up their sleeves.

‘Drone!’ snapped Red to a diminutive Irken. ‘Read the charges!’
‘The prisoners are guilty of entering the Massive with false reasons, guilty of high treason against the Irken Empire, guilty of escaping their cells and guards on several occasions, guilty of causing bad damage to the Massive and guilty of attacking the Almighty Tallest,’ read the drone.

At this, Zim let a small laugh escape, despite the several bleeding wounds in his chest. Dib threw him a worried orange glance. It would be so stupid to end everything here after all that went between them!

‘Control Brain!’ called Purple. ‘You heard the charges, what is your decision?’

A grave voice seemed to come out of thin air.

‘Irkens Taty, Bass, Zim and Kinn are to be terminated by data-extraction from their paks,’ concluded the voice.
‘Music to my antennas,’ smirked Red.

Long snake-like metallic arms came down from the ceiling, aiming for the prisoners on stage. But before they could connect to the paks, an inhuman screech cut trough the crowd.

‘LET ME TROUGH, YOU SONS OF MEEKROB, BEFORE I IMPALE ALL OF YOU AND USE YOUR ANTENNAS AS DENTAL FLOSS! I MEAN IT! OUT OF MY WAY!’

Red held up a hand, stopping the execution. They turned towards the back of the parting crowd and saw a small female Irken pushing her way trough it, never stopping her furious yelling.  She was followed by a very tall Irken dressed in ceremonial robes.

They both arrived at the bottom of the stage, the female’s blue eyes shooting daggers left and right at whoever dared glance her way.

‘Miik!’ yelled Taty, pulling on her restraints. ‘What on Irk are you DOING here?!?’
‘Disobeying a direct order, my Captain!’ snapped back the pilot.
‘What is the meaning of this?’ interrupted Red with a menacing stare. ‘You dare stop an execution, you diminutive thing?’
‘I wouldn’t dream of that, my Tallest,’ answered back the pilot with a somewhat softer voice. ‘But he will,’ she said, pointing to the tall Diplomat next to her.  

The Tallest’s eyes narrowed on seeing Blo, displeased at his menacing height. The Diplomat stared back for a moment and directly addressed the Control Brain.

‘I have new evidence to present in this case,’ he said in a deep voice.
‘Too late!’ shouted Red. ‘The Control Brain already gave its decision!’
‘Tallest Red,’ said smoothly the Control Brain, ‘no Irken shall be terminated before hearing full evidence against their cases. Please, do tell, Diplomat Blo.’
‘Thank you, Control Brain,’ said Blo with a respectful lowering of his antennas.
‘Ass-kisser,’ muttered Purple under his breath.

Blo took out a small chip and deposited it in a waiting metallic arm. It got read by the Control Brain, who hummed gently while processing the new information.

‘What did you gave it?’ asked Red with a frown.
‘A recording of some events that happened recently, my Tallest,’ said Blo with a neutral voice. ‘Among them, the revelation that the human you held captive was declared as Zim’s Kribliss, thus clearing him of all accusations, since he was protected by law 28536-663 concerning casualties over a Kribliss recovering. It also contains the camera footage of the Squeaky crew getting attacked by an Irken ship and loosing the Kribliss to the hands of a Glagoarth warrior. This bound them to Zim’s cause, clearing them also of the accusations, according to law 28536-663-B.’

Both Tallest paled, unsure of what was coming next. But Blo was not done.

‘There is also evidence that the Glagoarth going by the name of Beckharsho was a notorious bounty hunter and that his latest assignment was registered to be for both Irken Tallest.’

A collective gasp could be heard in the crowd. Forgotten by all, the cameras kept transmitting every word to all Irkens in the universe.

‘As Beckharsho captured and killed Zim’s Kribliss on your orders, my Tallest, this gives full rights to Zim to exterminate both of you, according to law 28536-663-C.’

A deadly silence followed. All heads turned towards Zim, who had paled at this revelation. He got startled by his handcuffs opening and falling to the floor in a loud metallic “clang” that reverberated on every speaker in the galaxy.

‘Diplomat Blo is correct,’ said the Control Brain. ‘The evidence is accepted. Irken Zim, you can choose whether or not execute your revenge on the ones who terminated your Kribliss. We shall await your decision.’

Zim turned towards the Tallest, who were shaking from head to toe, waiting for his answer. The ex-Invader walked up to them, barely noticing the hand gun that a small drone pressed into his palm. He looked at it, then at the Tallest, a frown creeping on his features. He lifted the gun towards them.

‘This would be very satisfactory,’ he smirked. ‘After all the lies and humiliations you put me trough, it would be the perfect ending for me. And who knows, maybe I’d get the chance to become Tallest myself, what do you say?’
‘Zim…’ tried to plead Red. ‘You wouldn’t do that to your Tallest, would you?’
‘You’re right, I won’t,’ snickered Zim, still holding the gun.
‘Because you like us?’ tried Purple with an hopeful smile.
‘Not really, my Tallest,’ scoffed Zim. ‘I’m letting both of you live, so the entire Irken race can see how merciful and great I am.’

He dropped the gun to the ground and walked back towards Dib, who was following the proceedings with huge and fascinated orange eyes.

‘I could have killed you and collected the glory, my Tallest,’ continued Zim. ‘But Zim is far above such ruses and lies to gain power.’

He pressed a claw against the holographic collar and took it off, revealing Dib to the world.

‘Smile, Dib-worm, you are on every screen from here till Blorch,’ snickered the Invader.
‘I would have liked at least a shirt,’ muttered back Dib, trying not to blush from the sudden attention.
‘Why? You are clearly displaying my ownership like this. Now everyone knows you’re mine.’
‘Do I get my say about this?’ whined Dib.
‘Not really,’ smirked the Invader.

Behind them, the Tallest were slowly getting their composure back. Purple was trying to subtly kick the fallen gun offstage, in case Zim changed idea.

‘Irken Zim,’ said the Control Brain, ‘your attitude is honorable. You shall recover your full Irken citizenship and the rights that go along with it.’
‘Thank you, Control Brain,’ smirked Zim, holding Dib’s chain in his claws.
‘As for Tallest Red and Purple, your case is being studied along with the new evidence brought by Diplomat Blo.’
‘What?’ panicked Purple. ‘What evidence?’
‘A list,’ said Blo, ‘of every Irken taller than a hundred and thirty Ligas and their missions trough the universe. It seems most of them are assigned to dangerous and deadly tasks.’
‘Everybody out!’ yelled Red ‘Cut the transmissions, NOW!’

The Massive’s bridge emptied faster than one can say “curly fries”. Cameras were shut off, much to the displeasure of Irken audience. Back on Earth, Kinn’s frustrated shriek scared all the forest critters.

‘It seems, Tallest Red and Purple,’ said the Control Brain, ‘that you have not been acting as an Irken in your positions should. Your cases will be studied closely. Any more evidence could make you loose your Tallest privileges.’

The Control Brain went into sleep mode. The only remaining people on the stage were now the Tallest, the Squeaky crew, Zim and Dib. The teenager felt himself be scrutinized by Zim’s crimson stare.

‘Zim, what are you doing?’ he asked in a small voice, trying to hide his embarrassment.
‘These scars are not mine,’ said the Invader, pointing to some scratches and bruises over Dib’s chest and arms.
‘No shit,’ replied the human. ‘I’ve been beaten and shot by every alien that crossed my way since I got in this ship.’

At his surprise, Zim smirked evilly and pulled the chain.

‘Come, Dib-human, Zim has an evil plan.’

They both walked to the Tallest, who shot them nasty glares.

‘Good day, my Tallest, yes?’ greeted Zim with a mean smirk.
‘What do you want again, Zim?’ grunted Red.
‘Haven’t you caused enough damage for today?’ whined Purple.
‘I just wanted for you to properly meet Dib, my Kribliss,’ said Zim, showing the teenager with a flourish of his hand.
‘Just get to the point, Zim,’ ordered Red.
‘I just wanted to let you know that most of these scars were created since my Dib was captured and beaten up by your crew,’ smirked Zim. ‘I’m sure the Control Brain would be glad to know that you caused damage to my Kribliss, my Tallest.’
‘You… you can’t prove that!’ said Purple in a worried voice.
‘Yes he can!’ realized Dib with a malicious grin. ‘The Squeaky scientist would be glad to provide you with shots of me taken before my capture. How about we compare scars?’

Red shot him a furious glare, and went back to Zim.

‘What do you want?’ he growled.
‘Not a lot, my Tallest,’ answered Zim with a mean grin. ‘First, I want my SIR unit back. Then, I want Earth to be classified as mine and out of any invading projects. I also want broadcasted apologies for mocking Zim during all these years. And I want a shipment of taquitos for GIR.’


Red hissed trough his teeth, but Purple placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘You’ll get it,’ he grumbled. ‘Now get out of here, all of you.’
‘As you wish, my Tallest,’ smirked Zim.

As soon as he was handed the offline GIR, he walked out of the Massive’s bridge, pulling an exhausted Dib behind him. The human had trouble staying on his two feet. He was surprised to feel an arm around his waist helping him advance.

The Squeaky crew followed them. Bass was creaking his neck, explaining in full detail the bombs he had placed all over the Massive to create a distraction. Blo listened with attention, antennas held high. Taty and Miik closed the walk, a heavy silence between them.

‘How did you get here?’ asked the Captain. ‘The teleportation room got locked after Bass and the Dib-bot got zapped in, and that was hours ago!’
‘I infiltrated Zim’s base and stole his Voot Cruiser,’ smirked Miik.
‘But, how did you get here so fast?’
‘Oh, I boosted it up with Kinn’s experimental fuel and jumped from wormhole to wormhole.’

Blo turned around and shot her a sickened look.

‘Yeah, I know you didn’t like it,’ snorted the pilot. ‘But it worked, didn’t it?’
‘That… that was really dangerous!’ exclaimed Taty.
‘Yeah, so? It was fun!’ snapped back the pilot.

Taty paused and held her upper arm. Miik turned, a confused look on her face.

‘Just… don’t do it again,’ muttered the Captain. ‘I’d hate to loose you.’

She lightly pressed her face on Miik’s head, right between her two antennas. The pilot shivered and grunted a small ‘Yeah, all right’.

‘Come,’ said the Captain. ‘It is time to go back to the Squeaky. Kinn must be frantic with worry.’

They followed Zim and Dib to the teleportation room and watched as they got beamed back to Earth.
Still with me? Good ^_^ Don’t worry, we’re not done yet, we still have two more chapters and an epilogue to go. The boys have some things to figure out before we bring this story to an end…

Has any of you noticed that, besides his grand scene with the Irken laws and everything, Diplomat Blo NEVER talks? It's a little inside joke between ~ThePinkTerror and me ;)

IZ is Jhonens, the fic and the Squeaky crew are mine (and some of it belongs to my sis, but she doesn't mind me using them for this).

First Chapter:[link]
Previous Chapter: [link]
Next Chapter: [link]
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:iconmysticmyra8:
MysticMyra8 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2014  Hobbyist
ok, so i love the tallest (even if they are jerks) and i was having a panic attack just thinking of them dieing (especially purple! i love purple to death). and also, to top it off, right before that, zim got stabbed with a pak leg and i was panicking over that too. so much panic in me!!
anyways! i love this story!! now i go to the next chapter to see what other amazing thinks you have to show me!
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:iconponyvilleraver:
ponyvilleraver Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
yay! so much Irken love for you :) and ohh, Zim going all bad ass on the tallest ; sent shivers down my spine :iconikilleditplz:
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:iconkiatonasy:
Kiatonasy Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2010
*Makes happy squeeking sounds* I luv this chapter =3
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:iconyaoi-lover-yoko:
Yaoi-Lover-Yoko Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2008
that was so awesome. and taquitos?
Reply
:iconandalitebandit-6:
Andalitebandit-6 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2008
Diplomat Blo saves the day! XD It's always satisfying to watch the bad guys get their just deserts in the end <3
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:iconkrazykatana:
KrazyKatana Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2008
‘First, I want my SIR unit back. Then, I want Earth to be classified as mine and out of any invading projects. I also want broadcasted apologies for mocking Zim during all these years. And I want a shipment of taquitos for GIR.’
Best IZ quote ever, and I don't give a shit if it's unofficial. I love how incredibly believable you kept the cannon characters. That said, I get to tease Aki cause I got to read this before her!!!
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:iconswing-21:
SWING-21 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2008
I'm glad you liked it :D I felt like I owed GIR something, after having him deactivated for the greater part of the fic... But epic stuff is easier with him out of the way... :P
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:iconkrazykatana:
KrazyKatana Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2008
I see him as comic relief mostly, especially in the angsty stuff. Like Rilzit, which I still need to finish. Crap.
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